Why We Host: Not Just for Them, But for Us

A raw reflection on imperfection, motherhood, and the healing power of presence

This past weekend, my mother-in-law came to visit. And in many ways... I was off my game.

When she arrived, I was knee-deep in a DIY stair renovation project. I had stayed up until 4 a.m. the night she arrived to finish laying the stair treads. The next morning, I realized I’d forgotten to stock the coffee bar—something I never overlook. She’s a morning coffee drinker. I know that. I usually like to keep it fresh and convenient for early risers.

And there were a handful of other things I missed that I won’t bore you with. But let’s just say, I wasn’t firing on all cylinders.

Still, I did a few things right.
I cooked—twice. (Turkey kofta and wonton soup.)

I made the most delicious batch of frosé.
We visited one of my new favorite restaurants.
And I let Zhuri stay up well past her bedtime to snuggle and giggle with her Granny.

But that wasn’t the best part of the weekend.

Usually when I host, my gratification comes from how good I make my guests feel. But this time was different. This time, I was the one who felt good.

Affirmed.
Listened to.
Supported.

And not just me—all of us.

This woman showed up on a Thursday night and loved on our entire household from the moment she walked in the door. Her energy was soft, generous, grounding. The conversations were meaningful. The hugs were healing. The presence was exactly what we didn’t even know we needed.

That is why we host.
Not just to serve others.
But sometimes… because we need it.

New energy.
New conversation.
The physical presence and proximity of someone who sees us.

It felt good.
Damn good.

And maybe that’s the lesson.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves is simply opening the door.

Not to impress. Not to perform.
But to receive the love waiting to walk through it.

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to be the strong one. The organized one. The good host.
But this weekend reminded me: strength doesn’t mean doing it all.
Sometimes, it just means making space for love to show up.

Because even the host deserves to feel at home. 🖤